Feeling fat, frumpy and old ! I’m talking about myself here ……

I feel it is important to disclose something about my own personal struggles and the road I have travelled which has brought me to this point in my life where I am able to help others to overcome their own female fitness/wellness problems, believe me you are not alone….

Up until I had my second child, I had always been slim, petite even, with a positive body image. Fortunately, I discovered the joy of exercising so I had managed to stay in shape for many years.

So, imagine what a real shock it was to see and feel the unwanted bulging of extra flesh over my clothes when I had done nothing to deserve it!

It happened on the 5th March 2012. I woke up after a full hysterectomy, pleased that everything was successful and no further surgery was needed but as the day wore on I was aware that I was experiencing feelings of extreme heat. I assumed it was the warmth of the hospital.

How wrong I was…….

In due course, I was happily discharged and the only thing I was told was to take it easy for up to 6 weeks and don’t lift anything heavy or do housework ( thank you very much Doctor, don’t mind if I don’t )

As it was March, it was a bit chilly, although, freezing cold according to my husband.
At this time we had been married for 32 years and despite the long sentence we are very close, and we sleep almost entwined, arms and legs always wrapped around each other in some clingy way.

Well that was all about to change and a new game was to emerge.

The game of covers on / covers off. All night long this game would go on, well until 3am because this was another change, I was now an early riser, a very early riser. Not because I wanted to but because my body told me to.

This all happened within my first week of being home.
After over 30 years in the fitness industry,  I have many,many fitness qualifications and I have studied for years about the human body but I had not really been interested in the “old ladies stuff”. Somehow I didn’t think it applied to myself! and I would leave that until much later.

I researched and found that being stripped of my womb and its contents meant I was in instant Menopause. I still wasn’t really convinced, because I was the highly qualified, well respected Personal Trainer and coach – Julie Bartlett, and with my PMA, it wasn’t going to bring me down.
I had a lot of work to do in my life and this was just another problem I could handle.

However, as my own private summers increased, the gap between my husband and myself got bigger in the bed.
Everybody would be in jumpers and I would start playing the on / off game during the day as well. Instead of the quilt, it was my own clothes.
Now I had hot flushes during the day and sweats at night. Whoopee !
Suddenly, and for the first time in my life.. I wasn’t too sure of myself…

Never one to give up, I spent a fortune on all the tried and trusted treatments but nothing really worked for me.
Like most of us women, I put up and shut up, well for a while anyway. I am a really confident person and I am very happy with my lot, but here was one of the biggest challenges I ever had to face as a woman.

When did I start laying down to do up my jeans that had fitted for at least the last 10 years?.
My first ever real muffin top.
I couldn’t get some of my clothes over my hips.
I was widening, changing shape , but only in the middle…..

I disguised the bulging flesh the best I could,  after all I was Superwoman and did my clients really want a blobby, anxious personal trainer in her 50’s ?
My job is about inspiring, motivating and helping my clients to feel good when they leave me so this next change was even more difficult to bear. Not only was I wearing baggy clothes but now I was entering another new experience.

I  started getting anxious, panicky, feeling not good enough, questioning my worth. Taking deep breaths before and during work.

I needed Nanna naps every afternoon in order to function. I just couldn’t stay awake after 4pm unless I had a 20 minute nap. Luckily my job allowed this.

At this time I was exercising hard to try and deal with the weight gain, I was snacking more to stay awake, to reward myself  for getting by each day and I felt out of control in so many ways.

I couldn’t share any of this because I was scared I would lose clients and friends, but the truth is, I am a REAL woman, with REAL problems and issues that affect REAL women.
I began to understand that this was one of the most precious learning curves I could ever have had for the next phase in my career.
The first lesson was to understand flexibility in life stages, what works then may not work now, along with new information about nutritional needs in menopause. I was ravenous for as much information as I could find and my new course was well and truly set.

Around May time in 2013 I attended a women’s conference and I met a lovely hormone Doctor, Dr Arasu.

During her presentation about Bio Identical hormones, it was as if she was talking about me and I knew then that I had to see her.
My hormones were out of whack but she could help solve that.
It would cost roughly £500 in total.
Once home my beloved was horrified, “what is the NHS for?”, he bellowed.

So off to my GP I went. My wonderful doctor told me that HRT is available on the NHS but it would be a lottery to try the ones on offer and stop when we found one that suited me.
There were many different types and if one doesn’t feel right then we would try another and so on.

 

I was not prepared to put my body through that when I was struggling already. My doctor was fully supportive and pointed out that the cost was that equal to a weekend away and as I wasn’t in the right head space ( or body ) for a weekend away, perhaps it was money well worth spending.

I made my appointment with Dr Arasu and I have honestly never felt better. Following blood tests, I was prescribed a plant based lozenge that was made up for me personally.  A balance of hormones that I lacked . After just a month I started to feel better. My husband describes it as “getting his Julie back” He had missed her so much.

It costs me £45 a month now but its worth every penny and I will continue for as long as needed.
There are many different articles for and against Bio Identical Hormones but for me it has changed my life. I am back to my fighting weight, I have more energy than ever and I have regained the confidence I had before my hysterectomy.

I am loving this stage of my life now but it could have been oh so different. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t just the bio identical hormones. Hours of painstaking research, trial and errors etc etc.

I have made many changes to be in the place I am now, committed to finding and identifying real solutions which I can share with you, my clients.

My food plan, my daily short workouts rather than 90 minute workouts have all made such  a difference.

If you need help getting through your own struggles please contact me. I’ve been there, done what’s necessary and now living life to the fullest.

Oh hang on !

Did I mention the pelvic floor changes, the urinary urgency, the dryness, the key in the door syndrome !

Now that is another story, but trust me , it really is possible to get that back too.